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Chat
  • BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
  • Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
  • BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
  • Grandma: What?
  • BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
  • Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.
Source: gleefulgigi
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holothewolf-x:

princesskenoo:

dammit

I mean…..I want to argue against this but…….yeah you right

holothewolf-x:

princesskenoo:

dammit

I mean…..I want to argue against this but…….yeah you right

(via ruinedchildhood)

Source: princesskenoo
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guiselore:

lesbianathogwarts:

bashdoard:

fuckyeah-bill:

Promoing at the beach

Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.

follow the yellow dick-road

I love history lessons on tumblr.

(via pizza)

Source: sve-sto-imam-nemamm
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fedorabow:

Baljeet: Boo! Boo, I say!
Phineas: Baljeet?
Baljeet: Oh, I am not Baljeet. I am the scariest thing known to man: a failed math test.
Phineas: Yeah, right. We’re just gonna move on now.
Baljeet: You can run, but it won’t be to the college of your choice, I tell you!

I used to think that this was an exaggeration

I was wrong

(via ruinedchildhood)

Source: fedorabow
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sluttynuggets:

tryingtodisappearcompletely:

Do you think whoever made this realized it’s kind of a rape joke?

And it’s funny?

no

(via pizza)

Source: sluttynuggets
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relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut

(via pizza)

Source: yes-master-thank-you-master